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The Tax Man

posted 12 Aug 2013, 02:46 by Claire Woods   [ updated 12 Aug 2013, 02:51 ]
The Tax man decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the office.The tax inspector was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his accountant.The inspector said, 'Sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure I find that believable.
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstra­tion?'
The inspector thinks for a moment and said,
'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says,
'I'll bet you a thousand pounds that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor­ thinks a moment and says,
‘It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.  inspector's jaw drops & Grandpa says,
'Now, I'll bet you two thousand pounds that I can bite my other eye.' Now the inspector can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The
stunned inspector now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's accountant as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
‘Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand pounds that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that waste basket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The inspector, twice burnt, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the waste basket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the inspector's desk.The inspector leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win but Grandpa's own accountant moans and puts his head in his hands.
‘Are you okay? the inspector asks.
'Not really, says the accountant. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty five thousand pounds that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
(Elders' Echo May/June 2010)
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